Two Months with Grayson

At two months, Grayson is:

• Smiling!  The first one was on March 31st at 5 1/2 weeks old.
• Doing some 4-hour stretches at night but still generally eating every 3 hours around the clock.
• Often waking at night in between feedings to cry about some type of discomfort, be it to spit up, poop, have a stuffy nose or 'just because'.
• Definitely suffering from acid reflux, a truth we came to after trying to stop his Zantac.  He is still on the fussy side (some days more than others) but it is improving with time and meds.  He does now have more time awake that is happy than fussy I'd say (as opposed to all fussy a few weeks ago).
• Spending some days still fussing and barely sleeping, though he is now able to get himself to sleep after a short stint of crying in his crib (at least for the first couple of naps during the day).  Later in the day he is more likely to be found fussing in his swing while tightly swaddled with a pacifier in his mouth but.. progress is progress.
• Still waking after about an hour into each nap (if he falls asleep at all), sometimes able to get himself back to sleep but most of the time needing help.
• In love with his pacifier--a love that I try to keep absent unless necessary.  When he is relatively happy he's been found sucking on the top of his swaddling blanket in lieu of his paci which is a welcome trade (except for the laundry that ensues after the tops of his blankets feel like they've been heavily starched).
• Needing to be swaddled to sleep.
• Loving being around people when he is awake.  He gets lonely easily and will often fuss until someone comes to talk to him, then he'll smile and coo and then immediately fuss again when left alone.
• Showing off the cutest little bottom lip pout you've ever seen.
• Much more aware of his surroundings, the presence of people and familiar noises.
• Eating and gaining well and has been around the 45th percentile for weight.
• Getting a bottle from Daddy a couple times a week, the first of which was given around 3 weeks.
• Wearing 0-3 month clothes and size 1 diapers since around 6 weeks.
• Loved beyond measure!

I still feel like many days are about getting through the two-kid routine and little more, but slowly we are making it!  I am truly just in a holding pattern until he starts sleeping more at night so I can feel human again.  Ava is a little mommy, loves giving Grayson his paci and encouraging him in his first smile, first time holding a toy or turning his head.  We try to make it out of the house as often as we can and thankfully Grayson is still pretty laid back about the change of scenery mid-nap and loves the car.  With the warmer weather we are feeling slightly less cooped up at home and are looking forward to the summertime!

An Interview with 3-Year Old Ava

When are you (or have you been) most afraid?  When the doctor picked the plaque off my teeth at the dentist.  That wasn't good.

What is the one thing you could not live without?  Mommy and Daddy!

What is your favorite movie?  Cars (A movie she hasn't actually seen but wants to).

What cartoon character would you most like to be and why?  Bob the Builder because I want to have a construction hat on.

What is the best thing about being 3 years old?  Eating cake!

What job would you like to have when you grow up?  I want to do sound engineer like Daddy does.

Who are your best friends?  Ruthie, Brayden, Jon and Erin.
     Why?  Because they are the only friends I know!


Questions about Mommy:

What does Mommy always say to you?  "Come here" and "Break the rules" and stuff like that.

What makes Mommy happy?  Obeying.

What makes Mommy sad?  Breaking the rules.

How old is Mommy?  Three.

How tall is Mommy?  Taller than I!

What is Mommy's favorite thing to do?  Hug and sleep.

What does Mommy do when you're not around?  Cry.

What is Mommy really good at?  Exercising.

What is Mommy really bad at?  Nothing!

What is Mommy's favorite food?  Strawberries and shortcake.

How do you know your Mommy loves you?  Hugging and kissing!

Where is Mommy's favorite place to go?  Target and Walmart.


Questions about Daddy:

What does Daddy always say to you?  "I love you" and "Thank you" and "You're welcome".

What does Daddy do that makes you laugh?  Tickle me.

What makes Daddy happy?  Obeying the rules.

What makes Daddy sad?  When he falls and when he gets bloody noses.

What does Daddy do when you're not around?  Talks to us on the camera on the computer.

What is Daddy really good at?  Exercising.

What is Daddy's favorite food?  Frosted flakes.

How do you know your Daddy loves you?  By snuggling and hugging and tickling.

Where is Daddy's favorite place to go?  Work and studio and Penn State.

Compare and Contrast

I have been enjoying looking at Ava's past pictures and comparing our two babies.  I find they look more different than they do alike, Ava much more like the Drake side of the family and Grayson much more like a Darby, but every so often we catch a moment where they look like twins!  What fun with two...

Here is Grayson at 6 weeks and Ava at 9 weeks.

Time Out

We've been taking a lot of those around here.  Time outs, room time, rest time, charts of pluses and minuses, rewards and punishments.  It seems our house has become a horrible episode of Supernanny without much of the super (or the nanny which might make all of this much easier).

I write this post for two reasons.  One, I would like (hope) to in a year from now look back and chuckle at these tough days as I sip my iced tea on the porch and watch my daughter come inside when I ask her to the first time and not speak to me as if the age of thirteen came ten years early.  And two, I want to grow in the area of time outs myself--taking time out of this chaotic life of mine to gain some perspective, remember why I love my children and love(d) being a mom, and to simply breathe in a little quiet.

I naively thought that consistency in the area of discipline would be enough to raise a perfectly well behaved child.  And to be fair, Ava is very well behaved when we are outside the home.  But inside, she has figured out that I can't make her do much of anything anymore and in the name of independence and stubbornness she will forfeit rewards and welcome punishment (until it is actually upon her) in order to exercise her right to disobey and disrespect and demand.

Thankfully, I was once a horribly stubborn child myself and I know it gets better.  Ha!  Unfortunately I know it will also take some time and a whole lot more patience than I have within me naturally.  I may not have a supernanny in my home but I have a supernatural power within me that is Christ, thankfully feeding me more grace than I deserve and reminding me to offer it to my kids too.

I will admit my three-year-old has made me cry, I've made her cry, and I've sat next to the running dishwasher while both kids screamed in their rooms just to get a break.  This, I've decided, is what it's like to have young children.  It's a lot less blissful than I imagined and I've also realized it's okay not to like my job every day.  But, I can take a time out, and remember that God has called me to this super-work and has promised to give me the tools to grow my children faithfully.  I can remember the sweet moments during the day, the snuggling before bedtime, the pride I have when watching Ava play so well with other kids or when Grayson gets himself to sleep.  I can also choose to take a breath, remember that this won't last forever, and enjoy as much of it as possible.

Ava Turns Three

At each milestone I am in awe of how much my baby girl has grown and changed since the last and this birthday was no exception.  Being able to hold up her three years against her brother's three weeks was an especially eye opening, grounding, and gratefulness-inducing celebration.  I am so proud of who Ava is becoming and the firey, outgoing, caring, witty and sharp little girl that she already is.

Despite the exhaustion and limitations overtaking our lives these days, we did our best to make Ava's third birthday a very special day.  After breakfast we took Ava out to the driveway and with plenty of hurrah we presented her with her very first bike, fit with training wheels.  Pink, purple, hearts all over it, and a bike helmet doused in flowers and lady bugs--needless to say she was beside herself!  It was everything we had hoped for, watching her light up and jump with excitement, and what a joy to watch her slowly take her first ride and gain confidence with each pedal push.

Blair had to work for most of the day so I told Ava she could pick anything she wanted for her birthday dinner with me.  She chose 'Cars' mac & cheese with just about every fruit and vegetable in our fridge and strawberry greek yogurt for dipping.  Love her!

At three years old, Ava:

• Is insightful well beyond her three years.
• Always asking questions and soaking in vocabulary and explanation.
• Potty-trained by day (except when she decides to act out in response to a certain little brother's presence) and wearing pull-ups at nap and bedtime.
• Weighs 36 1/2 lbs and is about 38 inches tall, still in the upper percentiles for both.
• Between sizes 4 and 5T, size 9 shoes
• Makes us laugh every day with her ingenuity, creativity and wit.  At her 3-year doctor's appointment the doctor asked her to draw a circle.  She picked up the pen, drew half of a circle and said, "That's all I can do", then proceeded to add two dots and said, "Hey! It's a smiley face!"
• Loves learning about sports and is especially interested in gymnastics and baseball.
• Has one favorite activity: rough housing with daddy!  Other favorites include playing outside, listening to music and singing along, being read to, caring for her babies and animals, and in general using her toys and household items for uses other than what they are meant for (i.e. one could regularly find her 'skiing' down the hall with wash cloths on her feet and two fly swatters in her hands).
• Also loves pretending she is a baby (since Grayson was born), complete with pacifier and whine.
• Favorite music: Audrey Assad
• Favorite books: Berenstain Bears
• Favorite color: Purple
• Is by far the most outgoing three-year-old we've ever met!  She loves to talk to everyone she sees, including strangers (thankfully she's still young enough to always have us with her).  She is a surprisingly good and thoughtful question asker and I love watching her gregarious nature light up every space she sets foot in.
• Has fully embraced her duty to test boundaries and drive mommy bonkers.
• Still has the sweetest most caring little heart, an amazing awareness of emotion and what's going on around her and an overall personality that we can't get enough of.

Two days later we had her birthday party--a small affair with just a few family members, but Ava couldn't have been more happy to share her big day with her cousin and best friends.

The highlight of the party was definitely playing outside with the tee-ball set and trampoline Ava got from Mimi and Pappy.

Granddad brought a beautiful cake, outfitted in the color of the day--purple!

 We are so grateful to everyone who made that day so special and memorable for Ava!

One Month Old

Grayson, you are one month old today!  It has gone by very quickly but I've enjoyed getting to know you more every day.

Thankfully having a second child comes with a portion more of confidence, ease and perspective and one less of panic and anxiety because this new child of mine so far has a demeanor that would draw out the latter.  He has many oh so sweet moments but the poor guy has definitely had a rough first four weeks of life as his body adjusts to life outside the womb.  Not a smooth transition for any, unfortunately!

At one month old, Grayson you are:

• Eating every 3 hours around the clock, starting around 7:30am just before your sister gets up.
• Sometimes able to get yourself to sleep in your crib but you generally need to suck on something to help and then you wake every few minutes crying to suck, spit up, poop or for some other unknown reason.
• On the highest dose of Zantac a baby your size can stomach and you still seem very uncomfortable when you spit up, burp, lie down, or have to dirty your diaper.  We are about to start a new medicine for acid reflux to see if it is more effective for you.
• Have an insatiable need to suck and are rarely happy without a finger or pacifier in your mouth.  We are praying that soon you will find one of your own fingers to fill that need!
• Still fighting to stay awake for even a half hour or forty-five minutes after the start of a feeding.  Because you aren't sleeping well, you would much rather eat and use that to soothe yourself right back to sleep.
• Doing better at sleeping in your crib than you were two weeks ago.  You don't often stay asleep for long but at least I can put you in without you screaming at the sight of it.  You have transitioned to wanting more quiet when you sleep, you love your white noise machine, and don't sleep as well anymore in the swing or out in the middle of the action unless you're being held.
• Loving your daddy!  He definitely calms you down more than mommy does (with me you just want to eat) and you love staring at his face.
• Just outgrowing your newborn clothes, though you still manage to squeeze into NB size diapers.
• Growing like a weed and now weighing 9lbs 11oz.  You gained 2 lbs in the last 2 weeks!
• Nursing much better (sucking more strongly) than you were a few weeks ago but that has come at a price--the last few days you've been spitting up a ton!  We are hoping that's not a continued trend.  The good side of this is that feeding you is a relatively quick operation and you're done within 5-10 minutes.
• Still sleeping in the bassinet in our bedroom until you start sleeping through the night.  Hopefully that will be sooner than later but you haven't shown any signs of wanting to go longer than 3 hours in between feedings yet.

I am still averaging about 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night, a habit that my body has surprisingly gotten more used to over the last weeks.  When I am home by myself with both kids there is a lot of crying between our non-sleeper who I can't hold much of the time and our three-year-old who majors in negative attention getters these days.  Though I am secretly looking forward to a few months from now when things are hopefully running more smoothly, I am also soaking in the slow pace, the newborn size and smell, and the little victories that are awarded when I manage to get both kids happy or sleeping at the same time.

Grayson, despite the energy you require, you manage to steal my heart every time I look at your handsome little face.  No matter how tired or frazzled I get, I am still overwhelmed with love for you and can't wait to see how you grow and change and how you change me.

Grayson: The First Two Weeks

I'm sure my memory is failing me but I do recall the first two weeks with Ava being much easier.  This is mostly due to the fact that with one child you truly can sleep when they sleep and with two you can't.  My body has somewhat adjusted to getting an average of 4 hours sleep a night but my mental faculties are definitely not at their peak performance under these circumstances!

At two weeks Grayson is:

• Eating every three hours at roughly 7am, 10, 1, 4, 7... sometimes going 3 1/2 or 4 hours at night, sometimes screaming to eat after 2 or 2 1/2.
• Not particularly interested in feeding but is getting better.  He is getting more efficient but generally finishes within 5-10 minutes regardless of how much milk he's actually consumed.
• Is thankfully gaining weight rapidly despite my perception of his poor eating habits and weighed in at 8lb 2oz at his appointment on Wednesday.
• Not enjoying sleeping flat on his back, by himself or in his crib.  He will not put himself to sleep if put down while awake.  We're working on it!  For now the swing or carrier have been lifesavers.
• A pretty fussy kid unfortunately.  We're suspecting acid reflux and hoping a regimen of zantac will do the trick.
• Adored by his big sister.  Ava loves to snuggle him, hold him, entertain him and study his little features.
• Still pretty darn adorable even though he doesn't let us sleep much!

Finally, the Real Labor

Three years ago I pushed out a 9-pound baby without an epidural.  I thought I'd seen it all.  But low and behold, my baby boy arrived at 8:01am after 14 1/2 hours of a labor barely resembling his sister's.

Tuesday afternoon I had my doctor's appointment where we found out I was 4cm dilated.  An hour later (around 5:30pm), while we ate dinner as a family at a local diner, my contractions started.  Because of all of my false alarms I tried not to get my hopes up, but this definitely felt a little different than the contractions I'd had previously.  Over the next couple of hours they were still semi-irregular but steadily growing stronger and closer together. We headed to the hospital around 9:30pm, my contractions remained painful but doable for a number of hours and progress was slow.

Around 2am there was a great shift in the heading of my labor.  Sparing details, things started to progress very quickly and got much more intense within a very short period of time.  My contractions were incredibly strong, much more so than any I experienced when laboring with Ava, and they were not subsiding in between peaks or giving me any break.  After about two hours I had lost all energy to speak, squeeze hands or continue on in any manner.  I remember telling Blair that I felt like I was going to pass out but I couldn't, my body wouldn't let me leave.  I was incredibly hot, violently sick and utterly dashed when I realized I wouldn't be able to finish this without help.

Somehow they got me to sit up and I remember holding onto Blair's sweatshirt, sobbing and shaking as I got an epidural.  Shock seems to be the word of the last few months for me and I was again bathed in it--at how my body handled the end of pregnancy and at how different this labor had been than what I'd expected and experienced before.

After the epidural my body calmed enough for them to check me.  I was at 8cm at that point and know I reached 10cm by around 6am because of the pressure I felt.  A little before 8am the doctor came back in to check me and instead found the head already visible and ready to make it's debut.  I will say, though I was disappointed that I could not have my son naturally, there was a pleasant contrast to Ava's birth that surprised me as it happened.  I only pushed two or three times but the whole event felt much slower and calmer than Ava's.  I was able to be fully present for my son's entrance in the world, I cut the cord, even laughed a little.  Though less intense, it was every bit as emotional and much more peaceful which was a welcome feeling after such an exhausting labor.

At the end of it all, with the sunrise I got to meet my beautiful son.  I admit that even late in my pregnancy I had a much harder time bonding with the idea of this second addition, how he would continue to affect our family dynamic, as well as what it would be like to love another child and to raise a boy.  Though different, bonding was still instant and fierce and continues to grow as I spend more time with this precious boy.  Grayson Blair.  I am so grateful for him and for what is to come as we grow into our roles as a family of four.

The moment.

Sleepy boy getting his first bath.

 My best friend Erin getting to hold Grayson for the first time

after witnessing his birth.

Ava meeting her baby brother.

Family of four!

And some of my favorite photos from the hospital and home:

 

Grayson Blair

At 38 weeks and 3 days gestation, our beautiful son made his arrival.

Grayson Blair

2.22.12

7 lbs 5 1/2 ounces

20 1/2 inches 

38 Weeks

Again I say, we made it.  Shockingly.  I'm beginning to think this kid just likes drama and is, after all this, going to come right on time.  At least in the meantime we've gotten his room a little more ready and I've tired myself out considerably with preparatory organizing and cleaning.

I will have my check-up on Tuesday; we'll see if there's been any more progress (that is if we haven't had a baby by then).

Nursery #2

I've been surprisingly more relaxed about decorating our second nursery and wanted to create something fairly neutral since it is also our guest room.  When I went on bed rest I let go of my desire to have the room completed before baby boy arrived, but have been blessed with so much help getting it painted and well-stocked.  Though we have yet to hang art or add any of the decorative elements, I wanted to share a sneak peek of the progress so far.

Stripes on the walls courtesy of my stepdad, Rick.  He painted these the day we went to the hospital in false labor!  Though we didn't come home with a baby, it was a wonderful sight to come home to a room much closer to resembling a nursery.

 The closet color is Tidewater by Martha Stewart at Home Depot.

The fixed roman shade I made in my favorite taupe Suzani fabric.  I followed this tutorial from one of my favorite bloggers, Centsational Girl.

I by no means would call myself a successful shopper, especially when it comes to bargain finds.  But, this elephant was a great find at TJ Maxx this winter (pre-bed rest) and a perfect compliment to the eventual theme of the room.  During the same trip I also found a sweet mini-globe in robins egg blue!

Seeing this all come together has gotten me excited for the days when I can shop the aisles again and fulfill my plans for this room.  Soon to come: a faux sheepskin accent rug, a large map print for above the guest bed, baby's monogram above the crib (once he has a name of course), and some coordinating pillows for the guest bed.  I'm thinking a little aqua chevron, gray zebra print...  for now I dream.

37 Weeks

Four weeks ago I really didn't think we'd see this day!  Thanks be to God and to all of our family and friends who sacrificed so much to help our family over the last month.

The last week has been our most eventful and honestly I am shocked to still be pregnant!  After spending 4 hours on the labor and delivery floor, contemplating names for a baby we were certain we'd meet that night, being sent home and then spending two other nights since wide awake with regular contractions only to have them eventually fade... I am hovering between feeling like I will go into labor at any moment and like it might never happen.

And so we wait.

False Labor #2

I didn't realize that one can have strong timeable contractions for much of a day and not be in labor, but alas, we experienced this just yesterday.  After my appointment in the morning I tried to lay down for a nap and again was unable to sleep, felt very uncomfortable and just 'off'.  Within a couple of hours I was having very strong contractions that were about 1 1/2 minutes apart so we called the doctor and rushed to the hospital.

Though I was at 3cm when we arrived (up from 2cm that morning) and convinced this was the real thing, over the next 5 hours they concluded that my contractions were spacing farther apart and I hadn't progressed past 3cm.  When the doctor informed me that she didn't think I was in labor, I was truly in shock and surprisingly disappointed.  Even though it's still very early, I had mentally and emotionally prepared to meet my baby boy last night and to have that taken away left me very depressed and confused.

We came home not sure if we'd be heading back within hours, days or weeks, but last night the contractions continued to weaken and spread apart.  At least I got a good nights sleep.  I will say I still don't feel like it will be long... I know women can stay at 3 or 4cm for weeks but I just don't believe that's my body's way of doing things, especially with its incredible propensity for contracting.  We shall see though, all we can do now is wait and pray for a healthy boy.  Oh and for my water to break!  No more of this false contracting nonsense please, my heart can't handle the roller coaster.

36 Weeks

We have finally made it to the crucial week we were most praying for.  Now I will be able to deliver in our hospital if I go into labor!  We have had lots of help around here, I've been able to take it easy, and the amount of cramping that I was experiencing has greatly decreased.

Today at my appointment we did get some great news of progress.  Baby's head has dropped, I am 2cm dilated already and 70% effaced.  When I was pregnant with Ava I was 2cm dilated at 39 weeks and had her two days later!  Though I could still go full-term, we are kicking our baby readiness into high gear.  I am very uncomfortable, not sleeping well and definitely ready to get this boy out so this was music to my ears now that we've reached a "safe" point for delivery.

I've also been given the O.K. to be up and moving about which is a huge relief.  Though I still don't feel up to doing my usual duties, it is so good to know I won't exercise or exhaust myself into an early labor.

Ava has continued to be quite a champ with all the change, the visitors coming and going, the new foods being kindly delivered and the mommy who has taken yet another step further away from the daily rough and tumble.  She is SO excited for her brother's arrival, loves to feel him kick, talk to him and "snuggle" him (as seen in the above photo).  She picked out a gift to bring to the hospital for him when he's born and she keeps talking about that day to come with the anticipation of a child preparing for their first visit to Disney World!

This week I finalized my top choice for baby boy's name and I think Blair has too.  Though we will probably have to meet the little one before deciding, it is wonderful to finally feel like he will not remain nameless indefinitely.

In short, I am very ready, Blair is nearly ready, no one has told the little boy with the quick heartbeat that it's time to settle down in there but we're bracing ourselves for whatever is to come!

Pig Tails

Oh no!  My jump rope got caught in my pig tails!

Yes people.  We've arrived.  Her hair is long enough to *sort of* wear pig tails:)

Modified Bed Rest

On Tuesday I had my 34 week appointment and follow-up from our trip to the hospital.  We waltzed in, me on my wheelchair with Blair and Ava in toe.  The doctor looked at me, stunned, and said, "What are you doing?!  Did something happen since I saw you in the hospital?"  I was already trying to hold back tears and replied, "No, you put me on strict bed rest, remember?"  His response, "Uh, some lines got crossed somewhere, you can walk around!"  I felt like a bit of a doofus and was simultaneously furious after the stressful week we'd had trying to scramble together 24/7 help for me to make this bed rest possible.  I was also struck with half relief and half terror at the thought of being allowed to go back to 'taking it easy', something that without help left me contracting the night away and making trips to the hospital.

When we got into the exam room, the doctor came in and explained that in short, the wrong box had been checked on our outpatient form.  He had meant me to be on Modified Bed Rest and instead I was put on Strict Bed Rest, complete with anxiety and a serious directive from the nurses about the risks involved if I were to deliver before 36 weeks.  An honest mistake but one that cost us a considerable amount of worry and inconvenience.

That said, we are relieved to know the alert level on my uterus has been lowered and there is no serious risk of me delivering dangerously early as long as I take it very easy.  We have still been calling on family and friends to come and help--without it it is nearly impossible to rest when my body tells me to while under the rule of one busy little Ava.  But, it is nice to know I can get up to make myself a snack, get Ava to the potty on time or do even more if we have a gap in our schedule of helpers.  What a relief to know I won't single-handedly usher this baby into the world before he's ready simply by doing a few dishes.

Thank you for all of your prayers and to those who have offered help and meals.  At my appointment I was not showing any internal signs of preterm labor and though I've continued to have cramping and contracting, none have been regular since our trip to the hospital.  Though this is not how we imagined it playing out, those prayers were answered!  I am just 6 days shy of the 36 week mark that we were praying for and it feels wonderful to have it in reach.

Bed Rest.

Early yesterday morning I awoke with more contractions and this time I called my doctor's office and we were instructed to go to the hospital.  Though I was not in real labor (and of course the contractions had slowed by the time I was being monitored), the doctor diagnosed my uterus as an "irritable" one.  Lovely.

In short, I was put on strict bed rest.  My heart sunk at this news.  I knew my body wasn't doing well but all out bed rest?  Like, no-laundry-no-cooking-only-get-up-to-pee kind of bed rest?  At another time, this directive might sound like winning the jackpot but I had already begun to morn the loss of my plans, my to-do list getting done, my clean floors, and most of all, the picture of what my last few weeks alone with Ava would look like.  Granted, I had already self-imposed a great decline in my activity around the house (and almost totally withdrawn from any out of the house activity), but without help there is a certain measure of meal-cooking, laundry carrying and 2-year old bathing, wiping and cleaning up after that is unavoidable.  And apparently still too much for my irritable uterus.

24 hours into said bed rest, I must say it is both hard and a relief.  This is what my body has been craving and needing but it is so difficult to lie on the couch, see a million things that need to be done, and order an already busy husband to go run after Ava for a trip to the bathroom, remind him that the steaming broccoli is overdone and oh yeah, could you get me a snack while you're at it?  That said, I did underestimate how delightful it would be to have nothing better to do than pay attention to my daughter. Though I can't play on the floor, give her a bath, refill her milk cup or go places with her for a few weeks, I didn't foresee how sweet it would be to be so available to just talk with her and snuggle at a moments notice.

Now, while I lay here, I will set my energy toward prayer.  Praying that this little guy makes it at least 3 more weeks in there (if he decides to come earlier we will have to take an ambulance ride to a hospital much farther away that can accommodate pre-term babies).  Praying for no more regular contractions, for the abundance of help we will need around here to be provided, for all of us to stay healthy in the meantime and that I might be able to let go of my desire to DO and just rest.

To Labor or Not

For a few weeks now I've been pretty ready to get this baby out.  Though, last night when that dream became a real possibility, I suddenly found myself keenly aware of what it might mean to have a baby 7 weeks early, and heard myself thinking, "Oh, God, please not yet!"

Around 12am I was lying in bed and started having some pretty strong cramping--strong enough to keep me awake.  It wasn't coming and going in regular intervals but was pretty steady with some very painful peaks every few minutes.  I decided to get out of bed and join Blair who was still awake upstairs.  While sitting down, I started to have Braxton Hicks contractions every 2 1/2 - 3 minutes which continued to be accompanied by some painful cramping.  We timed these for about an hour before I started to walk around and stretch.  This helped to lengthen the time between the contractions and at times lessen the cramping, solidifying that this was in fact a false labor.  The cramping and contracting kept me up for a total of four exhausting hours, reminding me of the excitement and hard work that is labor.  Maybe I can wait a little while longer!

All this to say, Blair and I are officially motivated now to actually go buy a package of newborn diapers, dust off the bassinet and get going on all of our other pre-baby to-do's.

32 Weeks

I was surprised to find out today that I lost two pounds in the last two weeks.  The doctor said it's not too concerning unless it's a continuing trend, but it is still a little worrisome to me.  I have also been having intermittent cramping, which again isn't a concern in itself but still isn't a great sign.

My take on it is that I've been doing too much around the house and not eating enough, both of which are "easy" fixes but difficult for this stubborn, wanna be busy-bee.  I have a hard time staring a to-do list in the face and lying down instead, but given that I've been feeling so lousy I really do owe it to myself and this little one to slow it down a bit.  Not a simple task with an almost three-year-old, a recent total home makeover and a personality that is always desiring uber-productivity.  Lord, help me!

Catch Up

Pregnancy has not been kind to my body and therefore I have not had the energy or time to keep up with our blog!  For that I apologize and I hope that it's not a continuing trend post-baby.  Instead of trying to crank out ten posts today, I am going to attempt an abridged version of our household goings-on these last few weeks.


Holidays
I fear I'm even less likely to write post-holidays since it takes me about two weeks to recover and about two months to upload photos.  That said, we had a fantastic and family-filled Thanksgiving and Christmas and Ava loved getting some time away from home.  She has become quite the flexible traveler and now does very well in new situations, with new foods, people or sleeping arrangements.

Christmas was especially delightful as this was the first year Ava really understood the full excitement of the Christmas morning tradition.  She waited quasi-patiently at the top of the stairs for mom and dad to get dressed and ready and then tore into all that the day had to offer.  Besides the expected new lesson that not all gifts are for her and the lessons of patience and gift-giving, what a joy it was to watch her open her presents with awe and wonder and trembling hands.  She kept saying things like, "What is it?!  What could it be?!" and "Woah, cool!  I'm so excited!"  Experiencing Christmas through her eyes really was a thrill.

Ava waiting patiently on the steps on Christmas morning

Moving Day
Blair has had some time off between semesters and his schedule has been substantially lighter.  I have of course capitalized on this and given him a lengthy honey-do list to complete before mid-January!  As my belly has become increasingly more inhibitive, I've enjoyed having him around to not only to carry loads of laundry downstairs and pick up things off the floor, but to also do many of the preparations for our "moving day" which took place last week.

Our upstairs bedroom is to become the nursery and guest room, and we moved our master bedroom to the finished basement.  I spent the weeks prior to moving day painting a design on one of the walls down there (a task much more difficult than I originally imagined) which though exhausting, has really helped to transform that room into a much more luxurious space.

The "hand-painted wallpaper" that I finished for our new master bedroom

Moving day also involved setting up Ava's new bed, dresser and nightstand which she couldn't have been more excited about.  She has loved having a bigger bed, has done very well with no bed rails, and is slowly adjusting to having mommy and daddy a little farther away.  I've also overhauled the orientation of the rest of our furniture, storage and layout to better suit our incoming arrival.  Ava has been a good sport though she'll be glad when mommy's all done moving things and throwing things out while she's asleep (especially her things).  While we still have a lot of work to do around here of the big and the small variety, it feels very good to finally have a space that is capable of welcoming a baby!

Ava's new big-girl room

The Ava Girl
Ava has really been a trooper with all of the changes going on around here.  She's lately been a bit more clingy and "mopey" as I like to say, but she's fairing pretty well.  She is growing so much and is still as sharp as a tack, always thinking, always asking questions and astounding us with the connections her little brain makes.  Today I made chili for the first time in awhile and she said, "Mom, there are two chili's.  That up there (pointing to the stove) and then how it's chilly outside!"  Genius.  All day long she asks what everything means, why things are the way they are, and is into classifying her vast amounts of knowledge.  For instance, a regular conversation at the table for us goes something like, "I like oranges.  Are oranges healthy?"  "Yes, very healthy."  "Are they healthy for your baby?"  "Yep."  "Broccoli is really healthy.  Is mac & cheese healthy?"  "No, but it's ok to eat every so often."  "It's not healthy?  But it tastes so good?  Is candy healthy?"  And so on!  This girl loves to learn and I know will give us a run for our money in the coming years.

Though she doesn't understand the full extent of what's to come in March, Ava is very excited for her baby brother's arrival.  I think she is mostly excited because it will mean mommy can actually chase her and be tackled by her again, but she's also looking forward to giving the baby his pacifier, singing to him and rocking him when he cries (so she says).  Today she felt him really move for the first time and it was such a precious moment.  Every time I've asked her to touch my belly in the past she either misses a kick or refuses all together.  But, today baby boy had the hiccups and I ushered her over to feel.  Her eyes lit up and she said, "Is he knocking?!"  She was fascinated when I told her he had the hiccups and showed her the movement that she was feeling.

Pregnancy
Just shy of 32 weeks, I'm definitely feeling the end is near... but not near enough.  I've thankfully remained healthy and without any major issues, but my body would beg to differ.  It likes to remind me daily that it doesn't approve of my choice to get pregnant and therefore refuses often to do what I want it to do.  Since entering the third trimester I've become much more nauseous again and have had to deal with a lot of anxiety which was a surprise.  With Ava I had the expected amount of over-emotional to deal with but with this little guy I've been a bit of a wreck!  Thankfully, I have a loving and caring husband and a healthy dose of perspective that I didn't have the first time around.  I am doing my best to just take it one day at a time and get through the next two months with as much enjoyment as possible!

Hopefully it won't be another month until I post again.  In the upcoming weeks, check back for photos of Baby Two's nursery!