28 weeks

At 28 weeks I am

So thankful for the many kicks and punches from this baby boy

Still experiencing a lot of pain and pressure

Fitting more comfortably in Blair's clothes than my own

Nesting like crazy

Taking it easy

Loving imagining Ava as a big sister

Over the moon about entering the third trimester!

Still very undecided about baby boy's name

Beginning to get his nursery together

Enjoying time as a mother of one and

dreaming of life as a mother of two

Sooo ready.

The Star

Too sweet a moment to keep to ourselves!

Betty the Faceless Snowman

Given that Ava has had very little excitement in her life lately (due to my constant need to take it easy), I decided to celebrate last nights two-inch snowfall here with Ava's very first snowman.  I squeezed into two pairs of maternity pants, barely zipped my coat and got down on my hands and knees in the name of making my girl happy.

Despite aching hips and a mid-frosty topple, we eventually completed Ava's first snowy friend.  Unfortunately, Ava didn't realize how long it took to actually construct a snowman.  When we finished, he got two hugs, the name "Betty" and then Ava was ready to come in for some hot cocoa.  By the time I made my way back out there to affix a face to our frosty, it had turned completely to ice!  Though his button-nose is m.i.a., he was at least donned with a hat and scarf for his photo shoot.  Though not the epic first-frosty moment I'd hoped to share with my daughter, it was still memorable and Ava has continued to love him from her warm perch at the kitchen window!

Now, thanks to you Betty, I will be laying down for the rest of the week.

O Christmas Tree

Each year we have been married, Blair and I have gone out to cut down a fresh frazer fir for our living room in December.  We've been through illnesses, pregnancies and baby-toting years, so each visit to the tree farm has looked a little bit different.  Even though this year I was huffing and puffing up hills in search of our perfect tree, it was by far my favorite as we got to watch Ava run gleefully through the lines of trees and savor every moment of this tradition.  This was the first year that she was really old enough to not only enjoy and understand what was taking place but to also do the whole trek on her own two feet--hurrah!

Ava squealed, "Mommy!  This one is Ava-sized!"

Our pick (and check out that central PA view!)

Merry almost Christmas from our family of 3 1/2!

A Miracle Baby

I believe God performs miracles every day.  In the last few weeks as I've gone from 22 to 24 to 26 weeks pregnant, I have been remembering and marveling at one of God's miracle creations.  Two years ago, my friend Melissa gave birth to her son Kyren at just 24 weeks gestation.  The story is remarkable and unfathomable but in the end God chose to bless this family with a precious and healthy baby boy.  I have been pouring over these pictures of baby Kyren and cannot believe that a boy just this size has been kicking around in me and making himself known.  I am praising God for saving and growing Kyren and for our healthy son as he grows in my womb during this 27th week.

 Kyren, born at 24 weeks gestation.

Getting to hold Kyren for the first time at a week old.

A perspective shot, Kyren with his Daddy

at one month old (28 weeks gestationally).

 4 weeks old

Kyren at two years old!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

24 Weeks

I had my 24 week appointment today and it couldn't have come soon enough.  Over the last 4 weeks I've been having increasing pain and intense pressure in my lower half and over the last few days haven't been able to stand or walk for more than a few minutes at a time.  Yesterday, against all my natural leanings, Ava and I had a "PJ day" (mostly because I couldn't bear to sit on the floor and attempt to change her) and watched a lot more TV than I would normally prescribe.  I laid on the couch or in bed as much as possible and by the evening I was feeling a little relief.

Thankfully my blood pressure is normal and the doctor said that though this is unfortunate for me, there are no pressing health concerns for me or the baby.  Hurray (I guess).  What I described he said was not unusual for second pregnancies as the body doesn't hold up quite as well as it did the first time around.  Being that this will probably only worsen over the next 3 1/2 months, he advised me to rest and get help with Ava when I can, but I'm grateful to know that no real harm is being done.  Though I wanted to say, "Are you sure, because I'm pretty sure this baby's head is already halfway out and my legs might burst open at any moment."

The other good news is that my weight and girth (Brian Regan anyone?) are almost exactly in toe with what I measured with Ava, despite my feeling twice as big and cumbersome.  It's the small victories!  And once again, somewhere in between taking the above picture and uploading it from Photo Booth, the magical circuitry has made me look much less huge than I actually am.  You will not hear me complaining about this.  Since I don't know how to work the timer on Blair's camera for a more accurate photo, I'm happy to display this and then shock you all with the real thing later.

We got to hear the heartbeat and when the doctor asked Ava, "Are you going to have a baby brother?" she lifted her shirt and pointed to her belly, "Yeah, and I have a baby Jesus right down here in my heart!"  It appears that teaching her about pregnancy and the Holy Spirit at the same time might have caused a little confusion.

All in all, though some days are better than others, I am feeling very weary and ready for this pregnancy to be over.  I am praying for mercy in the weeks to come (and an early delivery date would be magical).  I am however SO thankful for my loving husband and best friend who have rallied to help me as much as they can.  Today after my appointment, Blair dropped Ava off at Erin's house and will be picking her up this afternoon and taking her on a daddy-daughter dinner date while I rest.  Now, let me just say that I haven't had 8 hours (or 2 hours) to myself in almost 3 years and I'm not even sure what to do with that amount of quiet time!  I'm sure I'll think of something (probably involving jammies and hot cocoa) and I feel so blessed to have people in my life who care about me and my baby boy.

Asthma

We headed to the doctor on Friday, sure after a night of screaming that Ava was suffering from her third ear infection in six weeks.  The good news?  No ear infection (shockingly).  The bad news?  Ava almost certainly has asthma.

With every cold and ear infection this season so far she's continued to have wheezing and a dry asthmatic cough, though thankfully her oxygen levels have stayed within a safe range.  We have an inhaler that we have to give her every four hours whenever she begins to show signs of illness, and she's just started on Singulair, a medication she'll take daily through the winter as a preventative measure.

With two parents who have had asthma since childhood, she was most definitely doomed.  I was hoping it would hold off for a few more years but at least at this stage it's not holding her back in the slightest!  And, as sorry a 'pro' as it may be, I am thankful that we had four weeks of health between Ava's last ear infection and this latest cold.  Compared to last year that is a significant improvement and happened to coincide with starting her on a multivitamin and vitamin-D supplement.  Maybe they are doing the trick!

Outdoor Bliss

Just like her mother, Ava LOVES fall and the cooler temperatures that come with it.  She has been asking to go outside every morning (yes, when it's still 30 degrees) and thankfully we've had lots of sunshine lately for her to enjoy.  A few days ago she went on a long walk with daddy and the childhood bliss that ensued is palpable in these photos!  Love her.

Window Crayons

One of the best winter indoor activity inventions ever.

Happy Ballerina

"I'm a ballerina!  Look at me in my toe shoes!"

Now, I'm not a huge fan of Halloween if we're being honest, as shown by my waiting until the 31st to actually go out and buy Ava some 'toe shoes' and a matching tutu per her request.  But, I can say it was a delight to watch this sweet thing practice her twirls and plies, balance on her toes and talk endlessly about her ballerina tights and sparkles.  She loved watching herself in the mirror and being a real ballerina for the night (as evidenced by her patience in smiling for at least 30 photos of her standing in the living room).

After visiting five or six of our closest neighbors (where she tried to hand them back her candy), Ava loved sitting and admiring her loot and then jumping up at every knock to go hand out treats.  Despite my reluctance to celebrate, the night was a success and Ava loved her first real memorable taste of the traditions!

Caitlin Wilson Textiles

One of my favorite designers, Caitlin Wilson, has just launched her own line of textiles and they are gorgeous!  I've been anxiously awaiting their debut and hope I can come up with some places to use her beautiful fabrics and pillows in my home.

Gender Reveal Party

I've started this post four times now, unsure of how to capture how truly special last night was for our family.  The anticipation made finding out the gender of our baby that much more exciting and nerve-wrecking and we relished the opportunity to share such an intimate moment with our close family and friends.

My friend Erin not only hosted this event but she attended to every detail: favors, decorations, a table of foods I've been craving, and a custom cake baked blue or pink inside for the big reveal.  She made sure to capture every moment on camera, including when she opened the envelope (in private) revealing the gender, and sent us home with a mountain of goodies.  This happening would not have been what it was without her!  There are few things more special than having a dear friend make a big fuss over something that is important to you and man, I felt fussed over and blessed.  Thank you Erin for making this reveal such an exceptional time!

We arrived, excited of course, and were so thankful to see so many loved ones there to celebrate with us.  Then it was time to cut the cake as a family of three...

It's a...

 BOY!

Ava said, "It's blue! I'm going to have a baby brother!"

Overwhelmed.

I have thought known this baby was a boy since very early on, and thought I was completely prepared for the confirmation.  However, I was not!  If we're being honest here on this blog of mine, I was a little in shock and overwhelmed with thoughts of, 'Wait, an actual boy?  What does it feel like to love and bond with a baby boy?  Will I know how to care for a potentially rambunctious boy like I do my sweet girl?'  But, I am also flooded with a warmth and undeniable love for this little kicker of ours.  I can't let go of the picture of his precious face that I got to see on the ultrasound screen and am growing more and more excited as the realizations mount of what this will mean for our little family.  What an epic adventure parenthood is turning out to be and we are so thrilled to watch God's design for our family unfold before us!

Dirt, mud, trucks and blue, we are ready for you!

Ultrasound

This little blurry bundle is our baby-to-be.  We had an a great ultrasound and in some ways I enjoyed not finding out the gender right then and there (let me add a side note: we've decided not to find out until the reveal party on Saturday with our friends and family).  It allowed me to concentrate on each, 'it has two arms and two legs' and 'the kidneys and stomach are functioning properly' instead of lying there thinking, 'it's a girl!!' which is what I primarily remember from Ava's 20 week ultrasound.

The only part that was pretty uncomfortable for me was the measuring of the cervix which they have to do first, while your already squeezed bladder is full.  The tech got her magic wand down there and said, 'Woah, this baby's head is right up against the cervix'... I could have told her that.  He or she was so stubbornly pressed as low as a baby can go that the tech had to push and dig to get a worthy measurement, both of my cervix and of the baby's poor head.  Even with all the prodding it wouldn't budge and I can assure you hasn't lifted since.

Other than that, the ultrasound was amazing and I loved every moment.  We got to see the baby swallow twice and got to see it move its arms and hands in real-time.  By far the most special moment for me was when the tech scanned the front of the baby's face (it was facing up as opposed to curled on it's side like Ava was) and I got an almost 3D looking view of it's hand over it's eyes, it's cute button nose and big pouty lips.  What a treasure!  I will cherish that moment from now until I get to kiss those lips in person!

Unfortunately, a fun morning didn't mean a fun afternoon for me.  I've been feeling more and more tired the last couple of days and after lunch I took a long nap.  When I woke up I had a LOT of pressure in my legs and felt as if someone had tied a tourniquet around both my thighs and my legs might burst at any moment.  I called the doctor and she didn't seem too alarmed which was good, but I have continued to feel pretty lousy, exhausted and have a lot of pain and pressure from the hips down.  It is most likely due to the baby's placement as well as my body not holding everything in place as tightly as it did the first time around.  But, I am still feeling even more uncomfortable than I did with Ava in the last weeks of pregnancy and it's a little overwhelming to imagine 20 more weeks of this.

Please pray with us that this pain and pressure will not continue until March!  Also pray for endurance and a spirit of hope and strength for me.  The last couple of weeks I've felt a physical decline and in general feel like my body is not handling this pregnancy very well.  I am praying hard against discouragement and also that Ava would react well if this is the lot we get for next couple of months.

Thank you!  Stay tuned on Saturday for the big reveal!

20 weeks

We've finally reached 20 weeks!  I have my appointment on Wednesday but I wanted to post a couple pictures from our family photo shoot today.  Thankfully this has been a fairly uneventful pregnancy though I'm still feeling exhausted, light headed and much more uncomfortable than I remember being with Ava.  I thought I carried Ava low but this baby is low.  I feel a lot of pressure and it is already difficult to get up from the couch, lean over and do other such daily maneuvering since I feel like I'm squishing a too-full water balloon between my hips.  My body has also been feeling very overworked but I have yet to figure out where resting and putting my feet up fit into my day.

I am also happy to report that in the last two weeks Ava has made a turn for the better.  After not sleeping well since I got pregnant and upping the defy-o-meter, she has all of a sudden started sleeping better at night and taking longer naps again (and consequently has in general reverted back to a normal measure of defiant two-year-old).  I am praying that this is the 180 we've been waiting for and that she will continue in this trend!  It is so much more fun to enjoy this pregnancy with her rather than to trade it for the constant need to discipline.

I mean really, have you seen a cuter big sister?  Last night I was feeling quite awful and laying on the couch and Ava came over to me, stroked my back and said, "Mommy, it gonna be okay.  I will always take care of you."  Melt this mama's heart.

On the 19th we will also (hopefully) be finding out the gender of our baby!  I can't even tell you how excited I am.  We will be keeping it a secret until Saturday when my friend Erin is graciously throwing us a shower and gender reveal party.  I am so looking forward to this in so many ways, to celebrate with friends and family and to have a moment to make a big deal out of this baby!

Pumpkins and Bunnies

Last weekend Ava and I went to Way Fruit Farm with the Stubes in search of pumpkins and a little fall spirit.  Ava was wary of the tractor ride that was required in order to reach the actual patch of pumpkins, but alas she clung to mommy and did great.  Once there, Ava dove fearlessly into the muddy search but every time I found a pumpkin small enough that I could carry it, she said, "No, I don't want that one".  After I trucked around one that I'd picked for her, she let me know that she didn't want to take one home at all!  She was just there for the adventure apparently so we continued getting our shoes muddy and came home pumpkin-less but enjoyed every minute.

 Here's our token photo with the pumpkin we left behind!

 The unforeseen highlight of the morning was the "petting zoo" which I had pictured as your usual dirty, sheep-and-goat-petting type zoo.  What we found was a little pen full of baby bunnies!  Before I could get out the words, "Ava, are you okay to go in by yourse---" she was in the gate and stalking bunnies like you've never seen.  I was shocked and somehow so proud, my daughter who is usually the last one to let go of mom's hand in public didn't hesitate for a moment.  When we got home she came right in and told Daddy all about it and kept saying to me, "I looooove bunnies mommy, I really do.  Can I have a bunny at my house?"

Trying so hard to pick up this wiggly older bunny

So gentle!

Settled for a snuggle with the wiggly one.

Finally got to hold a quieter baby bunny.  So proud of herself!

All in all it was a perfect fall morning and the weather could not have cooperated more.  I'm so thankful for these fun times with my daughter while it's just mommy+1!

Meanwhile, maybe it was the sunshine we had last week but Ava has started sleeping much better recently and I'm so thankful.  She occasionally will sleep in a little in the morning if she has a rough night or takes longer to fall asleep, and her naps have been consistently 2 hours or more when she's been healthy.  What a difference it makes in her demeanor!  She is currently suffering through her second ear infection in two weeks but has been quite the trooper.  We've started a multi-vitamin and vitamin D supplement to hopefully bolster her immune system for the rest of the season... we shall see.

Ava's New Coat

She Says

Ava: (telling us a story) "One day, Curious George got out of bed.  And all of a sudden!  There was a terrible alligator.  The end."


While I was putting on her socks and shoes:
Ava: "Mommy, I'm ready for shuntin'!"
Me: "You're ready for what?"
Ava: "Shuntin'! You know, like shunting trucks and hauling freight!"  (the theme song from Thomas)


I went and met Ava at her door after her nap...
Ava: "Mom, what were you doing out there?"
Me: "I was on the computer."
Ava: "Well... that's not polite. I called for you."
Me: "Yes, but you called from the door, you're supposed to call for me from your bed. You got out of your bed."
Ava: (with a smirk) "What?! You can't be serious!"


"Mommy, do you ever EVER mow the lawn?"


I asked Ava who her best friend was. She said Ducky. I clarified, "Who is your best person friend?" and she thought for a whole minute before saying, "Brayden! He's snuggly!"


At my OB doctor's appointment, just before hearing the heartbeat, the doctor said to Ava,  "Does your mommy have a baby in her belly?" to which she replied, "Yeah, and I have Jesus right here in my heart!"

I was that mom.

You know, that one with the kicking, screaming, shoe-throwing toddler you pass judgement on in the store?  That was me.

For all those who know my daughter and don't believe me that she has her "moments", believe this!  We were in our local kids consignment shop the other day and something about it made Ava think it was a free-for-all, take-what-you-want, try-on-all-the-shoes-you-can-find kind of store, and one where screaming and throwing a tantrum was an acceptable response to mommy's "no's".  I left utterly embarrassed, literally carried her out kicking and we then proceeded to sit in the car for fifteen minutes until she calmed down enough to get in her car seat.

I consider myself on the strict side of the parenting spectrum and think words like consistency and follow-through are the cornerstones to discipline.  But, if parenting perfection was my ultimate goal, I would never survive a day and would be riddled with defeat.  No amount of sound parenting can make you totally immune to a child's outburst of defiance!  But, though not apparently immune and not shielded from the glaring eyes of other shoppers, I do think God uses those displays as a great reminder for me.  I can never be 100% in control of what Ava does or what choices she makes, but I can do my best with what God has given me--to teach in the quiet moments, to discipline and correct in the louder ones, and to, in the messiest of moments, show by example what it looks like to live by grace, obedience and love.  If those are my ultimate goals, then I should welcome the tantrums as much as I welcome the sweet times, acknowledging them all as chances to grow in Christlikeness both within myself and to cultivate it in my daughter.

Now, do I act according to this perspective all the time?  Definitely not.  I am still the mom who threw her kid in the backseat and thought, who exactly is in control here?  What does it even look like to show Christ to this?  But, I'm so thankful for a God who challenges me, bears those burdens with me and teaches by example, dealing with my intense stubbornness with unmatchable gentleness, grace and patience.

Kicks

At 17 weeks and 2 days, there's no hiding this belly and no ignoring its resident.  Though I've been feeling small kicks and squirms since around 15 weeks, just in the last 24 hours our baby grew some muscles and those kicks can now be felt by an outside hand.

This morning I woke Blair up to feel some of the strongest kicks yet (he's been waiting patiently), and then Ava had her magical moment after breakfast.  We were reading a book when she got a strong kick in her back and I said, "Ava! Do you know what that was?"  She jumped quickly off my lap and sat next to me on the couch with her eyes wide and smiling.  I told her to put her little hand right where I'd felt the kick and she did.  I was literally praying that God would have that baby kick in the same spot again since Ava's hand is so small and can only cover so much ground at one time.  Not only did he answer that prayer but Ava waited patiently for two or three minutes for that kick to come, whispering, "Come on little guy" as she gently touched my belly.  When the time came she looked at me and her mouth opened wide in excitement.  What a special moment!

I will long cherish that first sibling interaction and know that Ava is going to make an amazing big sister.

Free Blogger Backgrounds

Being the design-loving blogger that I am, I was so excited to discover a new range of free backgrounds for blogger offered by The Cutest Blog on the Block.  I visit their site probably once or twice a year but have rarely found backgrounds that suit my taste.  This time around I hit the jackpot!  Here are a couple of my favorites from the selection.