Grayson: 13 Months

For me, much of the joy of being a parent is housed in recognizing and capturing a string of fleeting moments.  Hundreds of these come and go throughout the day, ones I think I could never forget but somehow do almost immediately.

Last night, after his bottle, Grayson crawled up my chest to lay belly to belly, cupped my jaw with his hand and tenderly smushed his nose into my cheek with the full weight of his head.  He laid there, still awake, for what felt like a lifetime's worth of joy-soaked-minutes, his featherweight white hairs blowing with each breath I took in and out.  Overwhelmed by the smell of baby and the warmth and weight of this boy I carried, I reminded myself to begin this post before I forgot to make permanent yet another fleeting moment.

This last month Grayson has grown up a lot and has whole heartedly adopted his new status as a one-year-old.  He is walking with the aid of push toys and just today stood unassisted for the first time with a smile as big as the moon, full of pride.  He is consistently saying Mommy, Daddy, Ava, paci and now "yeah".  He is pointing at things and has his bottom two teeth.  He delights onlookers with long conversations on the phone with "Dada", loves playing on mattresses, pillows or anything else that is a foot off the ground, and this month has started giving kisses (be still my heart).

Talking on the phone with Aunt Charlotte

Kisses for Daddy

Grayson's eating habits remain stable, they aren't excellent but he is eating and growing.  We have added a few new foods to his palate this month but this progress was slowed after discovering allergies to both dairy and almond milk.  He is currently still taking soy formula and has been very reluctant to drink soy milk, though I've discovered that thickening soy milk is almost impossible as it turns very quickly into a jello-type consistency.  Despite my attempts to revamp our grocery budget, it looks like we will probably be sticking with thickened soy formula until he has his follow-up MBS test in April or May.  This also means he is still getting "feedings" (as opposed to on-demand drinking from a sippy cup) since thickened formula must be ingested immediately after mixing.

After being instructed to increase his fat intake, I've introduced things like hot dogs, chicken nuggets and fries, things my 99th-percentile-daughter  did not get until she was old enough to beg for them!  It feels a little odd but at this point we are just desperate for things he will swallow besides fruit.

For my own records, here is a comprehensive list of not all foods we've tried but things he is consistently swallowing: blueberries, strawberries, apple, pear, grapes, peaches, hot dogs, waffles, chicken, eggs and cheerios.  In puree form, veggies mixed with applesauce (squash, peas, green beans, sweet potatoes).  Though they aren't his favorite, he will eat shelled peas and shelled chick peas off a spoon with a sweet puree.  Because he is showing signs of pickiness but is consistently swallowing a larger variety of foods, we have been able to side-step feeding therapy for now which I'm thrilled about!

Grayson is now sleeping with his right arm out of the swaddle 100% of the time but still needs his left arm swaddled to sleep well.  I've let this go and until he grows out of the Woombie (which he will be soon) or it gets too hot for him to sleep in anything but a diaper (which might also be soon), I'm okay with it.  This kid has had enough to deal with and every time I tried to ween him he got sick or had an allergic reaction to something new.  For now I'm on board with just letting the poor kid sleep however he wants to.

The one-armed swaddle

He is still comfortably wearing size 12 months clothes, size 4 diapers and has yet to wear a shoe.

This kid may never have the lush backyard of his birth to compare in memory to the desert he lives in now, but I'm pretty sure he will miss it not.  He is an outdoor man through and through and I've started just letting him roam about freely in the backyard, hoping to squelch any remnants of cactus-novelty before he's old enough to run right into them at full speed.  He loves being outside and could probably occupy himself quietly for a whole day if I let him, just throwing rocks, sorting leaves and touching dirt.  He has started crawling on his hands and feet like a monkey outside to save his knees from being filed raw on the stone and even with his uncalloused limbs he tromps right out onto the sharp rocks in search of adventure.

On one hand I find myself already mourning the loss of this boy's babyhood because he is the sweetest breed of these, but I also cannot wait until he gains some independence because I know he will embrace it and the world around him so joyfully and without hesitation.  This month as I've watched Grayson and Ava rekindle their love for one another, I am also getting more excited for their sibling relationship to develop.  Though I'm sure there will be rivalry and what not, I foresee their personalities blending beautifully.

Oh, my kids.

Four

I have a four year old.

I could end with that and anyone who has parented one of these breeds of human would understand by sentiment.  But, with that one might miss the depth, the inherent nature of humor and imagination so intricately woven with a grounded intelligence I can't begin to master in all it's complexities.  This girl is no ordinary one, no duplicate stamp, she is on all accounts as unique as they come and we marvel daily at her brilliance in both mind and spirit.

Ava's fourth year has been no picnic, housing immeasurable change for such young comprehension.  A sick pregnant mommy, a new baby brother with all the trimmings and lack of personal attention, a cross-country move and a personality that grows stubbornness like a weed.  Ava has had a lot to deal with amidst a tumultuous spurt of attitude, defiance and independence.  Though these things are typical of her age group, Ava has had a particularly difficult time accepting authority within the walls of home and the fire I've spoken of before became somewhat of an unquenchable wild thing that at times consumed all mommy had to offer.  That said, since turning four Ava has embraced this new responsibility with almost relief, to have broken the bonds of three-hood for the allowance of self-control that is apparently handed to four-year-olds on their birthday platter.  Her desire to rule the roost is still ever present but she is much more quick to ease the reigns a little, even in the last week.  She has even started playing with Grayson and loving on him in ways I haven't seen her do since he was a few weeks old, allowing herself to play the part of the sister and daughter more often than attempting a household dictatorship at the hands of a three-year-old emotional volcano.  For this I am eternally grateful!

Despite her desire for control, Ava's personality is a gem and a wonder to everyone she meets.  She is by far the most outgoing four-year-old I know while somehow managing not to bulldoze her companions.  She is a great friend, caring and courageous, immediate to warm and invite anyone into her inner circle.  She is intensely smart, sharp, poignant and observant on every level and the depth of her social skills and question asking rival many adults I know.  She is a tom-boy of sorts, wants sports equipment and a dart gun in place of headbands and lip gloss but she plays equally alongside her dump trucks and princesses, wanting to wear boots and muddy sneakers while pouting about the lack of sequins on the bathing suits at Target this season.

Ava is learning her alphabet at preschool, recognizes almost every letter, can write most of them from memory and is beginning to sound out words.  She is very interested in learning to write and read but has yet to master any of her numbers.  I think this is mostly due to her disinterest, she did not learn any of her letters until beginning preschool and then upon deciding she was motivated, learned them all within a very short period of time.  This girl can not be coerced into anything!  Once she decides she is ready, I foresee time telling and algebra in her future with relative ease, as well as a chronic migraine diagnosis in mine when it comes time to motivate her to use her super-smarts in primary school.

Ava is still taking a nap every day for 1 1/2 - 2 hours but is sleeping for (on average) only 9 1/2 hours a night.  For the last number of months she has been falling asleep around 9 or 9:30pm and waking at 7am, and then is desperate for a nap by 1pm.  I tried waking her early from her naps to try and get her to sleep earlier at nighttime, but after four or five days of disaster-child I lost my stomach for that.  For now we are letting her wind down on her own in her room from 8pm until she falls asleep and trying to keep her nap under 2 hours.  It's not ideal but it's what her little body is preferring at the moment.

Ava is wearing size 5 clothes (not 5T but girls 5) and I've lost hair over the task of fitting her now into the 'tween' styled, Hanna Montana, neon, lace and sequined costumes they have available in bulk.  Despite her excitement over hot pink Uggs and two-piece bathing suits, I've scoured the stores for things that will somehow still fit her into the little girl category.  She is wearing size 10 shoes, loves pajamas and has recently taken to changing her outfit at least four times each day.  She is, much to my dismay, at the beginning of wanting to express her independence via her wardrobe and at home is rarely found in an appropriate combination of clothing (think: tights with no skirt, sweatshirt with no shirt and leopard dress shoes).

At her four-year well check Ava weighed 42 lbs and measured 41 1/2 inches, roundabout the 90th percentile for both.  She eats as much as I do but thankfully still eats extremely well and loves a huge variety of healthy foods.  We are expecting an asthma diagnosis as she gets older and she is currently on a steroid and rescue inhaler regimen following a bout with Pneumonia a few weeks ago, but otherwise she has been deemed healthy and growing perfectly.

We are so blessed by this girl and every day I am stretched by her warm and gregarious heart and her insatiable curiosity and depth.  She challenges me to be creative, to define myself as I help her discover her own expanding heart and mind and to be intentional with everything I do and am under the constant watch of such an observant and absorbent girl.  She may tire me but I am so grateful for her as my daughter and my companion.  I am far better for having her in my life and can only imagine the richness she will bring to our lives and others around her in the years to come.