The Sacred, Beautiful Share

We've all been given this superhero power.  The ability to weave and post and share an unrealistic portrait of our lives via captioned photos and witty updates.  I am always put together, my house is always clean, I am usually on vacation or eating fancy food off a fancy plate and my kids love each other and never cry when it's time to put on their shoes or their underwear.

I don't know if it is a phenomena of the stay-at-home-mom, the perpetually social-media-connected, comparing-my-life-to-the-one-she-posted-mom, but I have a hunch this is more far reaching.  There is more than enough negativity being shared and re-shared, regarding this apparent trend of false self-advertising and a call for more transparent social media sharing (that or none at all).  I happen to fall on the other end of the spectrum.

I share for the grandparents and those who are invested in my days and the days of my rapidly growing children. I share photos because I enjoy the art of it.

But mostly, I share for myself.  I am detail oriented; I do checklists and data and duties and expectations.  I don't share the best moments of our days in order to give the impression of perfection, I share the best moments because these are the ones I want to remember.  Who wants to see fourteen photos a day of my kids crying?

Oh, this was when I said he couldn't drink the toilet water.  This was when I said no to taco meat for breakfast.  This was when I cut up the pancake instead of leaving it whole.  This was when I left the other pancake whole but it was too hot.  This was when I cleaned up the puzzle pieces in the wrong order.

Trust me, those are all very real and happen every day.  Every mom knows or should know that the day to day, moment to moment is not particularly beautiful and mine is no different.  That is why I covet those photos where I'm able to capture the beauty that happens for three seconds between the tantrum and the pee on the floor.  There is something therapeutic about stilling a fleeting blur of a moment and being able to look back on it before I go to sleep and remember, ah yes, I do love my life and thank you Jesus.

If I'm not in the picture, my hair is probably a mess.  If you haven't seen a photo of it it's probably unfinished or not even started or covered in laundry.  Just like yours.  Or my kids are watching television for four hours while I finish the project I do snap a photo of.  If I'm not sharing a photo of my lunch it's probably because I'm eating Ava's grilled cheese crusts, a squishy avocado and twelve hershey kisses.

It's not always pretty.  It's usually not pretty.  But I choose to capture and share the moments that matter to me, that tell the broader story of our family and that remind me of how much I have to be thankful for. In the words of Ann Voskamp, isn't this what this is? "Opening the hand to receive the moments? Trusting what is received to be grace. Taking it as bread." Nourishment.

My house is tidy once a day and clean once a week if I'm on top of things. I own ten pilly target tshirt and two pairs of shorts that fit me (spoiler alert: you won't see a trend-setting selfie in my feed). My kids are not always loving on or even liking-nearby each other, but it means something to me to capture when they are.  My life is not magical or exciting or exceptional but I want to raise thanks and remember what makes it worth something. Remember with a thankful heart the moments that ultimately reflect the beauty that is Christ's love being lavished on me in jellied kid smiles and muddy handed hugs and the blooming flowers in my entryway.

I share to document the incalculable riches that visit me so briefly sometimes and so deeply in others. I share to declare the glory of The Lord in all things and all my days.  Be sufficiently informed that in between the apparent instant feed of my life are plenty of non-photogenic moments--but those are easy to remember. It is much more difficult to remember and give space and reverence to the one minute in every hour where I let beauty reign over the mundane. 

Let's not compare or even give in to the lies that our media-shared lives are a comprehensive snapshot of the whole picture.  We shouldn't feel pressured to caption a special moment with, "Don't be fooled, this happened one minute before a total meltdown".  Instead, let's celebrate that "this happened" at all.  Let's celebrate each other's beautiful, inspirational, funny and real moments.  Let's venture back to the days of old, when bound albums were equally reserved for sharing the best of memories and realistic, all-encompassing investment in another's life was still earned in the sacred face-to-face.

Let it ring out in each post, a resounding hurrah for the share-worthy.

Hurrah!

Hurrah!

Hur-rah.

Two years old and Five years old!

Ok, goodness, it's been too long.  Life and the accessibility of Instagram have taken over my ability to choose the long-hand version of family historical record-keeping.  I am however, beginning to miss the gritty details of things not photogenic, so here they are!

First, the five year old.

• Since March 15th officially, though she has had the mental and emotional age of a five year old (or a thirteen year old) for much longer.
• She is evermore a fire-cracker, awesomely stubborn and sure of herself.  These traits, though they make me want to pull my own hair out, will undoubtedly be enviable one day and the beginnings of an amazing and captivating young lady.
• She is kind-hearted and able to laugh at herself.
• She's unbelievably outgoing and loves attention but is not keen on being on a stage in front of people.  She's much more comfortable off-the-cuff.
• She loves dresses and roller-skating, biking and jumping off my bed in them.
• She is still a fantastic eater though noticeably pickier in the last year.
• She has been wearing size 6 clothes for the last year and a half, though has grown around 4 inches (I think... I forget where I wrote that one down).
• Graduated her second year of preschool this month and cannot wait for full-day Kindergarten next year.
• Is starting to read, recognizes all of her sight words and can sound out many words with extreme excitement and pride.
• Is not napping anymore but could very easily.  I do my best to keep her up so that she will go to sleep with her brother at 7pm (she's a very early riser).
• Is very nurturing toward her brother and her friends.
• Is not very sensitive but is extremely perceptive about why her friends do and say what they do.
• Is a sporty girl at heart but loves coloring and drawing, making up stories, doing puzzles and acting out the whole spectrum of emotional scenarios via her dolls and stuffed animals.

And the two year old.

• He's basically the sweetest little human ever created.  No really.
• He is obsessed with music, namely CCV worship services, the music from Frozen, Praise Baby, and the occasional Chris Tomlin.
• He is in the 50th percentile for height and weight (ish) and the allergist ok'd switching from his Elecare medical formula and rice milk to only coconut milk.  We will know over time whether he is still gaining weight at a healthy rate and making up those calories elsewhere but so far he seems to be doing well.
• His diet otherwise is pretty straightforward and consists of chicken, turkey, fish, eggs, lots of fruit (except peaches), broccoli, peas, carrots, sweet potatoes, Van's brand multigrain crackers, Van's Honey Nut Crunch cereal, rice chex, rice krispies, honey rice Puffins cereal, dried fruit, and just recently yogurt made from coconut milk.
• I've been able to include small amounts of soy in his diet without any significant consequences, but he reacted adversely to the reintroduction of milk, beef and wheat a couple of months ago.  So for now we are continuing the avoidance of corn, wheat, milk, large amounts of soy, shellfish, peaches, avocado, beef and nuts.
• He has a propensity for taking his diaper off both while awake and asleep and has peed on the potty numerous times.  Potty training is slated for tomorrow if I have the guts to follow through with it!
• He still sleeps with a pacifier and his blue and white striped fleecy "blankie".
• Loves to be read to but usually will only sit for books he already knows.  His favorites are I am a Bunny, Little Quack's Opposites, Busy Little People and anything with Dora or the Frozen characters.
• If he's not watching CCV services online he is playing one of his two guitars or other instruments, or giggling at whatever crazy thing Ava is doing.
• He's taking one nap now (the sweet spot) for about an hour and a half, and sleeping at night from around 7:30pm - 6am.
• He is the opposite of his sister, a little more shy and slow to warm up to new people or places, but put him on a stage and he's in his element.
• He's not only snuggly still, he is affectionate.  Always giving out hugs and kisses just because.
• He's like a monkey on our furniture.
• He has a newfound love of coloring!
• He's just started to stand up for himself in the form of arm-crossing and some hitting and tantrums, but is still generally much easier than Ava was at this age and is much more laid back and easy-going.
• He is also obsessed with technology, especially our iPhones, iPods and iPads but he has started doing much better with the boundaries I've set with the use of these very expensive toys.
• Loves playing hide and seek and regularly goes someplace and yells, "Find me!"
• Is speaking in two word sentences or fitting three or more words together with charade-type motions to get his point across but his comprehension is excellent.  He and Ava have a fun time giggling through his vocabulary as he'll say something like, "Oh-were" (over) and Ava might say, "What? Underwear? Hahahaha..." and they both start laughing!

I'm sure I'll add more to this when I wake up tomorrow and realize the hundreds of details I've forgotten to mention.

In short these kids are precious and I'm so blessed to have them.  Their relationship has begun to take root in the last year and their personalities really do complement each other well.  Ava is the leader but Grayson isn't a pushover.  They have similar senses of humor and make each other laugh.  Grayson wants to do everything Ava is doing or saying or eating, and for now Ava loves being admired and is a gentle teacher.  They both love to rough-house and jump from furniture to pillows to cushions to furniture and enjoy sharing such an active spirit.  Overall I am realizing how much of a blessing it is that they play so well together and pray that it continues for a long long time!