Our First Visitor

I am behind in my posts!

The week before Thanksgiving we had our first family visitor and it was a blast.  My dad flew in for two full days of fun in the sun, park playing, duck feeding, picnic having and plenty of trains and barbies.  We were so glad to have him and it reminded us how much we miss home!

An Update on Eating

Grayson had his 9 month appointment last Thursday and weighed in at 18 lbs 5 oz, unfortunately not gaining since his previous month visit.  Though that could in part be due to his increased movement, it is most largely due to his eating habits or lack thereof.  He has dropped into the 15th percentile and though that isn't a dangerous place to be, it also isn't a great sign.  His acid reflux and a reluctance to swallow solid food have made feeding very difficult and in the last month he has started to show signs of hunger in the evenings that I can't satisfy with just breast milk.

The doctor commented on his size because he doesn't look like he's lacking and is now in size 12 months clothes but she said that his weight is not dense weight and so size doesn't always accurately reflect weight gain.

Let me indulge my need for historical documentation and chronicle his food intake to date.

September 18th at 7 months he had his first rice cereal, followed by squash, bananas and pears, all of which he swallowed one bite of before refusing more.  After seeing his hatred of baby food I let him try whole peas which he promptly spit out.

September 27th, I went back to just rice cereal with breast milk to see if we could make any progress but he made it clear he wanted nothing off of a spoon (though he will play with an empty spoon).

October 9th, his reflux was so bad that I decided to stop solids all together.  Within two days his symptoms were gone.

November 5th, tried giving him mashed bananas off my plate with great success, he ate 1/4 of the banana happily, only to refuse any more than one spoonful in the days following.

November 11th, I stopped all solids again because his reflux was coming back, again he was symptom free within two days.

November 13th, I gave him adult white rice and cheerios, both of which he spit out but kept going for more, spitting it out, going for more, spitting it out.  I considered it a success that he was even interested in putting food in his mouth!

Since then he has had blueberries, yogurt bites, puffs, pear, sweet potato and yogurt and hasn't liked any of them though sweet potato he will spit out and at least go for another bite.  He continues to love cheerios and rice, might be swallowing some rice but cheerios he still chews and then spits back out.

December 2nd, I reluctantly gave him his first ounces of formula.  Ever since sleeping through the night (since October 30th) he has been unsatisfied with the amount of breast milk he gets during the day since he isn't eating anything else.  I was exhausting myself trying to pump enough milk to supplement his evening feeding with a bottle of breast milk but it was barely doable.  The first bottle I gave him when he was hungry, he drank 3 ounces and then refused the rest, finishing his meal by breast feeding and was very fussy for the rest of the day.  Since then I've been unable to get him to drink any formula even when he shows signs of still being hungry after a feeding and I know he'd take at least 2-3 ounces of breast milk if I offered it.

Next Thursday we are scheduled for a Modified Barium and Swallow test at Phoenix Children's Hospital with a speech therapist present to specifically look for problems with the muscles in his mouth and his tongue as he swallows.  They want to rule out any anatomical reasons for his reluctance to eat and swallow solid food.  I am also looking forward to getting another opinion on why his acid reflux flared up so badly after starting solids when most doctors will say that it should get better with that introduction.

I honestly don't know what I'm praying for except a conclusive answer that gets him eating.  I'm guessing that pickiness is a big factor given that the only things he will continue to put in his mouth are things without flavor, but the fact that he will chew those things, spit them out, and then reach for more, is concerning.  I am hoping that we can get some clear answers and a plan for the future, especially as it pertains to his weight gain and satiating his appetite.

Grayson: 9 months

This month went as quickly and was filled as fully as the ones before it.  Our little boy is a happy, sweet and busy little bee and I love him to pieces.

Grayson is:

• Scooting like lightning and making more effort every day to get moving on his hands and knees.
• Not pulling himself up on anything yet or close to standing unassisted.
• Easily switching from sitting to crawling.
• Back to three naps a day once his reflux was under control again, usually an hour in the morning and evening and around 2 hours in the afternoon.
• Stretching his schedule a tad, able now to stay up until 7 or 7:30pm and wake around 7am.
• Still refusing any food off a spoon.  He will now pick up cheerios and put them in his mouth, he will sometimes gum them but appears to then spit them all out and not actually swallow any.  Thankfully though he has yet to show symptoms of reflux from those.  He's also tried puffs, peas and bananas but wasn't a fan of any of those finger foods and was not at all interested in the mesh bag baby feeder.
• On the other hand he WILL eat leaves, paper, cardboard, magazines, wood...
• He is showing signs most days of being unsatisfied with the amount of calories he's getting from just breast milk and I've had to start pumping extra to meet his demand.  At his appointment next week we'll discuss other ways to fill his belly. 
• Sleeping through the night but still breast feeding around 10pm.  Though I look forward to being able to drop this feeding, for now he still needs those extra calories.
• Will copy clapping and patting in an uncoordinated but exuberant fashion and can roll a ball back and forth fairly well.
• Still loves being startled and tickled, playing peekaboo, and hide and seek.
• Into everything and much prefers all of Ava's toys to his own.
• Still very laid back and content, relatively quiet, flexible and easy going.
• Taking baths with Ava in the tub now that he's sitting and stable.
• Does well being dropped off at the church nursery and has behaved himself for two stranger-babysitters since we moved.
• LOVED his first swing ride!
• Still no teeth though we are beginning to teethe again I think.
• Had his first ear infection and antibiotic regimen which did not go well and ended early with a prescription diaper cream and probiotic.
• Will will have a weigh-in next week but he is in size 3 diapers and wearing size 12 and 12-18 mos.

Comfortable

It took a month but lately Ava and I have both been missing home.  I thought she was doing remarkably well, almost too well, and then it hit about a week and a half ago.  She asked if we were going back to State College to live again and when I said no her heart sunk.  She loves it here but she's begun to realize that it's not just for a little while, it's not just vacation, and she misses her home.

She regularly talks about the Stube's, her best friend Ruthie, her grandparents and other family, but most of all her home on Shellers Bend.  She told me she likes the floor tiles in our old kitchen much better than the ones in our new house because they had more colors and shapes in them.  It almost made me cry!  Those little things about her home that I didn't realize she took notice of but to her they were so familiar and comfortable.

Some days she has become quite depressed and after some exploring I learned that it centered around her room.  She misses first and foremost her pink walls (her walls are currently camel brown and we are renting) with the rest of her room following closely behind.  It has been heartbreaking for me to feel powerless to fix this for her--no matter what I do she just won't be in her old room again or her old home.

Since I couldn't make her room any more like her old room, I decided to surround her with things that would make her happy and give her a comfortable place to make new memories.  It isn't that I believe in flooding sadness with 'things' but I do believe in the power of thoughtful decor--that is, filling your home with things that make you feel at home.  Ava and I took a trip to Home Goods and Target and picked out new sheets and pillows to dress her bed.  When we moved her room also became the guest room so she got the guest double bed and the mismatched sheets that went with it.  When we initially re-did her room before Grayson was born, our budget was minimal and she got such a hodge podge of hand-me-downs that her old room wasn't much to speak of to begin with.  Add in a cross-country move, a smaller room turned guest room and you've got an eclectic mess.

Her room is still a work in progress but I wanted to share a few of her favorite things.

Desire #1: Sparkle

She has gotten on board with the sequin trend right now and loves anything that has glitter stuck to it.  After telling her she couldn't get the $30 pillow from Home Goods that had huge ugly multi-colored rhinestones sewed on it, I went for one better (in my opinion).  In college I learned to knit and knitted a purse to which I sewed hundreds of white sequins.  It has since been sitting in my closet so I decided to turn it into a pillow for her.  Voila.

I also surprised her with a glittery Christmas tree perfect for her bedside table so she's been celebrating that glorious season a little bit early.

Desire #2: Flowers and butterflies

These are a few of her favorite things.  Here's what we came up with!  Flower sheets in her favorite hues and a butterfly pillow to match her mobile.  Since this photo was taken we also hung her curtain which added a ton of warmth to the room.  Next on my list is to hang pictures and to come up with a way to make her forget about those drab brown walls...  

Desire #3: Light

One of her biggest complaints about the room was it's vaulted ceiling.  Though a great design feature for me, to her it was spooky and not at all like home.  So, we did our best to light it up and bring it down to her level.  I took a bird cage I'd gotten at Target many months ago, filled it with clearance Christmas lights and hung it from the highest peak in her ceiling.  Voila, you've got a comforting night light and a built in de-spookifier.

Though a definite upgrade, I asked Ava how she liked her first night with her new things and she said, "They are nice but then I realized they aren't mine."  "What do you mean?" I replied.  She answered, "They are pretty but it's just not my room."

We've been spending a lot of time talking about what it means to feel loss, loneliness and sadness and how sometimes we just need to be patient, wait, and let things get easier with time.  I had not anticipated how heart wrenching it would be to experience this with her and to be able to offer little comfort except to hold her and whisper, "I know, I know."

Last night she asked me to pray for her.  We have been praying fervently that God would start to make this place her home, our home, and that we would not only enjoy it here but feel comfortable here.  We pray for friends who really know us and people to share in the every day with.  Most of all we pray that God would teach us the true meaning of home, being wherever we are, all together, regardless of our surroundings.  It is hard to let go of so many familiar things but as I hold my daughter with tears in our eyes, I know we both are learning what truly makes a house a home.  Each other.

But a little sparkle never hurt anyone.

Halloween

I am not a lover of Halloween but I am madly in love with this pretty little peacock.

Because of said distaste for the holiday, I didn't bother to dress Grayson up but I'm considering taking him trick-or-treating tomorrow with his arms swaddled and calling him an escape artist.

Grayson: 8 Months

The little man has had a big month.

Growing
Our doctor here doesn't see him again until 9 months but he is now in 12 month and 12-18 month clothes.  Yikes!  We took him in for an ear infection a few days ago and he weighed just over 18 pounds and my guess is that he's tall for his age.  Still size 3 diapers.

Scooting
He is so close to crawling but for now is still doing a super fast army crawl on his belly, elbows and knees.  He frequently gets up on his hands and toes or hands and knees and rocks back and forth with intense concentration but has yet to master the forward movement.

Sitting
Finally!  In the last week the flailing man has reigned himself in and can now sit unsupported.  He LOVES being able to be a part of things, especially watching Ava and playing "with" her.  I of course love this new independence and the ability to plop him down more easily in places that I'd rather his face not be in contact with the ground.

In this picture he had a fever and was in direct 

sunlight but he's smiling anyway!

Teething
Yes.  Very much yes.

Solids and Reflux
Grayson continued to abhor all solid food and mastered the art of laughing with his mouth closed so it became nearly impossible to feed him.  I backed up and began with very thin oatmeal in breast milk but he still would barely take a spoonful a day.  He will play with a spoon and lick banana off of his hands but was adamantly opposed to traditional feeding.  After a week or so I began noticing signs of his acid reflux returning (screaming after breastfeeding especially at night, not napping well and needing to be held upright to fall asleep, etc) and at first attributed it to my increased caffeine intake.  However, after cutting that out his symptoms remained.  I decided to stop giving him solids to see if this was the culprit and after 2 days he was nearly symptom free.  I was shocked seeing as how he was getting so little to begin with but now it is clear why he hated eating from a spoon so much.  It was painful!  I stopped solids altogether and we are going to talk to the doctor at 9 months and hopefully try again then.

Due to our change in healthcare provider we've had to switch Grayson to a different form of his reflux medication.  This one is not as baby friendly so it involves cutting open an adult capsule, collecting the hundreds of tiny beads of medicine that inevitably explode all over the kitchen, pouring them into a syringe, adding water and delicately squirting them into his mouth.  In between squirts when I unavoidably clog up the head of the syringe I poke it with a cake tester, squirt, poke, squirt, refill the syringe with water because I've used it all up on only half the capsule, squirt, poke.  It's an ordeal.

Babbling
When he's healthy this little man loves to chat.  He has started saying "Dada" and of course we praise him incessantly and pretend that he's saying his first word even though he is probably clueless.

Loves
Pretty much everything that used to make Ava cry.  Being bounced and thrown, being startled, tickled and having things snatched from his hands.  He loves tags, toys that aren't his, fist bumps and high fives, Ava, busyness, being awake, being talked to, drinking from the faucet during baths in the kitchen sink, chewing on the bathroom rug and our TV cabinet (did I mention he ate a whole receipt yesterday?), toys that make noise, walks in the stroller, listening to Blair play the guitar and the quintessential baby hypnotizing machine--the ceiling fan.

Sense of Humor
He has started showing signs of a sense of humor which is so fun to see.  I notice it most when I'm changing his diaper, he likes to grab the wipes from my hands and then giggles, waiting for me to say, "Hey, give that back!"

Sleep
Because of all of the teething, illnesses, reflux and transitions to sitting and crawling, his naps have taken a hit.  He has dropped the evening nap which I was sad to see go.  He is likely to sleep for about an hour in the morning and if I'm lucky, 2+ hours midday when Ava takes her nap.  Thankfully except for the late evening he's still a very happy boy despite getting dramatically less sleep than his sister at this age.

Though he has slept through the night a handful of times, this is still not the norm.  I am an advocate of the cry-it-out method but this boy is more stubborn than any child I've heard of.  Three or four separate times I've let him cry at night for up to 3 1/2 hours for multiple nights in a row and he will not break the habit.  He is not particularly hungry most nights as evidenced by the fact that he is satisfied with one side and then does not eat well in the morning, but he usually will not go back to sleep any other way.  Once he is healthy I will try crying it out again but for now, we wake.

Schedule of the moment (for both kids):
6:30a    Ava wakes up
7:30a    Grayson wakes and feeds, Ava eats breakfast
8:45a    Grayson naps for about an hour, then play/run errands
11:30a  Grayson feed, Ava eats lunch
12:45p  Both kids down for a nap, sleep approx. 2 hours, then play
3:30p    Grayson feeds, Ava gets a snack, then play/run errands
6:00p    Family eats dinner
6:30p    Grayson feeds and goes down for the night
7:00p    Ava's bedtime
9:30p    Wake Grayson and feed him
2:30-5a He wakes somewhere in there for a feeding
6:30a    Start it all again

In love.

Have I told you lately how much I love this man?

We had a rough start, he and I.  Me with my postpartum emotional ugliness, he with his reflux and affinity for screaming instead of sleeping.  We were in love in an exhausted, un-bonded and chaotic sort of way.

Seven months later this fellow has stolen my heart.

This photo was taken today.  While Ava was at preschool, Grayson and I had a date on the outdoor patio of a nearby Dunkin Donuts.  Instead of a nap, he cooed happily and watched the birds hopping and me sipping my iced coffee.  I mean really.  He's a delight.

Happy Apple

Pretty much the cutest name for a preschool ever.  Ava is loving her Tuesday and Thursday morning getaways into the world without mommy.  She is by far the most outgoing three year old I know and dropping her off at both Sunday school and preschool here have been a cinch.  She loves people, adventure and learning new things (especially when they involve playing outside) so she was so excited for her first day at Happy Apple.

The entrance to Happy Apple.  What an inviting place.

Ava's favorite part... the playground!

Dropping her off the first day.  We could barely get a

good picture, she was so ready to run on in!

I was the one begging for a goodbye hug before she took off.

Despite starting a few weeks later than the rest of the class, Ava has jumped right in.  She was included in picture day and last Thursday we went on a field trip to Cabella's, a sporting goods store that boasts huge animal displays for the kids to explore.  She was by far the most excited one to be there!

At Cabella's, Ava is in the top row, 2nd from the left.

Look who's excited!

Two of Blair's co-workers have three-year olds in Ava's class.  After meeting them once she of course thinks they are all best friends!  She talks about Jaelyn and Brody often and can't wait to spend more time with them.  We are so grateful for a community here of like-minded parents with kids the same age as ours!

Ava and Jaelyn

Home

Already our home is beginning to feel like just that.  A home.  We are so blessed by it.  Here are some more photos of our backyard, our new patio furniture and where we spend a lot of our time.  I've even included a couple of us out and about!

The view from our back patio doors.

Looking right, from the back patio.

The fire pit on the left side of the yard.

My favorite tree, behind the fire pit.

Our new patio furniture!

The perfect place for a morning cup of coffee.

Eating breakfast outside makes us happy.

On a bike ride through the neighborhood we lucked upon

an automatic sprinkler, perfect for cooling off in!

We are a ten minute walk to Walmart and McDonalds so we took a

sweaty trip down today for smoothies.

The Move

A week ago, with tears and anticipation, we made our move from Pennsylvania to Pheonix, Arizona.

After a whirlwind three weeks of packing, we bid adieu to our earthly possessions as they began their trek across the country.  My first tears were shed by surprise as I rocked Grayson to sleep in our cribless home.  The bare pink walls we painted before Ava was born.  We brought both our kids here from the hospital, greeted by these walls, driven in the car we had just sold.  Saying goodbye to all that is familiar except each other.

Our empty living room.

A teary goodbye photo on our front porch.

We spent Monday through Thursday at Blair's parents' house and cherished time with family before our flight on Friday morning.  Each goodbye felt so bittersweet.

We are so grateful not only for the breadth and depth of relationships we've been so blessed to have but dare I say I'm grateful for the chance to say goodbye?  To say all the things that don't get said on a daily basis.  Thank you for loving my children.  Thank you for your generosity, your friendship, your example.  Your love.  I am not happy to leave but my heart has never been so warmed than to remember, hear and voice my appreciation for all of the people who have become so dear to me and my family.

The plane flight was all but seamless.  We woke the kids when it was still dark and had boarded the plane before breakfast.  Grayson barely napped all day and Ava fell asleep for half an hour on the way from the airport to our new house but both were such troopers.  Thankfully my mom traveled with us so we had an extra pair of priceless hands on the flight and one less person to say goodbye to!

Our new home is more than we could have asked for.  A beautiful kitchen, plenty of space, a gorgeous back yard and large patio.  Palm trees.  Once again, God provided so bountifully for us!  A week in I still have a lot of organizing to do but we are so grateful for this beautiful home in such a great area.  We can walk to Walmart and a whole handful of other places and there is no shortage of adventure for the kids in this cactus-filled land.

Our house!

Our neighborhood.

"Welcome!"

My beautiful kitchen.  I am so thankful for it!

Our backyard view from the patio, looking 

toward the fire pit (this photo doesn't do it justice).

Ava playing under the bean tree in the backyard.

Within an hour of our arrival here there was a swarm of people knocking on our door, coming to help unpack the truck and play with our kids, bringing toilet paper and bottled water and detergent.  We felt so welcomed to this warm (hot) community of believers.  God has continued to confirm for us that he has prepared a place for us here, not only physically but emotionally and spiritually.  It was neat to introduce my mom to Christ's Church of the Valley on Sunday morning, to see it through her eyes and to be reminded of how much we already love the people there and the work that God is doing.

I love it here.  To keep it short and sweet.  Even after this short time I'm starting to fall in love with the landscape and the adventure that is present in a backyard of rocks, cactuses, new birds and lizards.  It isn't familiar here but it feels like home.  It is new but comfortable.  The constant sun keeps my spirits high even on the days where I've felt overwhelmed by tantrums and boxes.  I love the palm tree lined streets, the architecture, the mountains.  It happened so fast I barely remember how we got here but I'm grateful to be a part of this community and excited to continue this sweaty, dirty adventure with my little family.

Grayson: 7 Months

He's growing and changing!  I remember loving this age with Ava and the second time around did not disappoint.  Grayson has become, dare I say, quite the easy baby.  He is a charmer, a laid back, happy and smiley boy who loves people, activity, being startled and bouncing around wildly.

A few days ago we started him on solids and he surprisingly isn't a huge fan!  He is constantly grabbing at my food and practicing chewing and licking but hasn't enjoyed the taste or texture of rice cereal or squash.

That said, he looooves his high chair and being a part of the action.

He's nursing better these days, thankfully.  Though he is still an ultra-fast eater and I have to work to get him to finish, he will at least now let me hold him in a cradle position again and is less easily distracted.

Though he's still not sitting unattended, he is a champion spinner and scoocher!  I've witnessed him with both knees tucked under his belly and am fully imagining him crawling before he sits up on his own.

Grayson isn't the consistent sleeper that Ava was but I might prefer his method.  He is napping three times a day, usually once for almost three hours, the second for 1 1/2 - 2 hours and the third for closer to 30-45 minutes.  However, if we go out during nap time he remains pleasant and is pretty good about making up that nap with a longer one later in the day.  He is a delight and has been such a champ through all of our travels.

Still swaddled, still with the pacifier.

Wearing 9 month clothes and some 12 months, size 3 diapers.

 Before leaving for Arizona I attempted to shift his schedule so the time change wouldn't hit us (me) like a ton of bricks.  I successfully inched his morning feeding from 7am to 8:30am, but then he started sleeping through the night and thus waking at 6:30am again as his body wished.  After a week of that I decided to feed him during the night again--backwards, I know, but it allowed me more control over his schedule and wake up time during the move.  I again got him waking around 8am before we left last Friday.  Each day after our arrival he woke later than the day before and this morning both kids woke at 7:15am (10:15am east coast time)!

More to come on the details of our move but he has adjusted beautifully and is enjoying our new home.  He loves watching his sister bounce off the walls, entertains himself well and is an absolute joy.