The first 12 weeks

It is time to announce a most exciting addition to our family--one of the 12 weeks along, itty bitty baby variety!  On March 4th, just in time for Ava's third birthday, we are expecting our second child--still a mind-blowing concept that is hard for us to believe.  Despite my initial feeling in July, that the days were dragging by and I would never reach the end of the first trimester, we have arrived and it really did go very quickly.

Here is a recap of all that I would have updated over the last 12 weeks, had we wanted to fully disclose and had I felt remotely up to it.

How I've Felt  Overall I've been feeling pretty lousy but the severity has been up and down.  From weeks 6-8 I was very nauseous and extremely fatigued but thankfully my body became a little more predictable after that.  I've still been very nauseous but it's usually in the late afternoon and evening and most days have been doable with a solid afternoon nap.  One of the unexpected hardships this time around has been the emotional toll--not of the pregnancy itself but of how it has affected Ava, her behavior and our relationship.  More on that in a minute!

At 7 weeks we had a major scare, I woke up with some bleeding and the doctor wanted us to come in that day for an emergency ultrasound.  I was of course a wreck; nothing can prepare you for the reality that something might be seriously wrong with your baby.  After hearing the heartbeat (...relief) and getting our first glimpse of the 'tadpole', we were so grateful that everything was ok.

The Belly  Though not much of one yet, here it is at 12 weeks.  This picture makes me look a lot taller and slimmer than I actually am, don't be fooled!  I'm down to one pair of shorts that I can actually close, but for now just look and feel a bit thicker around the middle.  I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of an actual bump, the feeling of kicking feet and hopefully a little more energy in the weeks to come.

Ava's Reaction  When we first told Ava, she was very excited that mommy had a baby in her belly.  She said, "A baby from God!  Like in my Jesus book!" remembering the story of Mary having baby Jesus.  Little does she know this was not an immaculate conception, but we told her yes, the baby was still a gift from God!  Our good friends had had a baby a few months prior (a baby whom Ava is madly in love with) so she had that big-belly-to-little-baby transformation fresh in her mind and I do think has an idea of what's to come.  She however has no patience for the long wait.  She asked often that first week to feel the baby kicking, to talk and sing to the baby, to hold it and to even take pictures of my belly.  But that excitement wore off and a good bit of anger and sadness took over when mommy became all but incapacitated at times and definitely not as much fun.

This is an interview I did with Ava on July 17th:
mommy: Ava, do you like the baby in mommy's belly or not like it?
ava: Not like it.
mommy: How come?
ava: Because she's sad (meaning mommy).
mommy: Why am I sad?
ava: Because she's sick.  I like when she's happy.

From there Ava's sadness turned into a mixture of clinginess and anger at me, defiance of a whole different breed as well as having a lot more potty accidents and getting out of her toddler bed (something she's been great about since we initially switched over).  It's been quite an energy zapper, both physically and emotionally.  I've had many moments of feeling like I'm not doing what's best for my baby by having another baby as well as feeling a little defeated in my lack of energy and patience to deal with the issues at hand.  But, I know that we'll get through this together and I'm already learning quite a lot about my changing role as a parent of two.

Boy or Girl?  Ava is adamant that this baby is a boy, though with her aforementioned love for the most recent baby in her life (who is a boy) and her persistent reference to baby Jesus growing in my belly, this makes sense!  I too however have had a strong feeling that this baby is a boy from very early on and had a dream that I had a boy, born healthy at 8 weeks (ha, wouldn't that be a treat?)!  With Ava I only ever had dreams that she was a girl, so we'll see!  We'll find out (hopefully) in mid-October.


And so it begins... the countdown to baby's arrival and the impending craziness that will undoubtedly overtake our household!  We really couldn't be more excited and ready.  I am definitely already feeling the time crunch--though we have about 6 months to go, I'm realizing how quickly time flies when you have a two-and-a-half-year-old in the mix and a brain already incapable of keeping order and getting things done like it used to.  Nonetheless, we are preparing as best we can and trying to enjoy it!