I Got Jesus in my Heart

The sweet girl with her favorite boy-- baby Brayden

As previously mentioned, Ava has had a hard time with my pregnancy so far and has developed an unwavering need for her mommy.  One way that this manifests itself is during sleep times.  Ava has not only continued to get out of her bed at night but has begun waking mid-nap and crying out for me, "I need my mommy!" and crying for snuggles, milk, a blanket, anything that might get me to come into the room.

Without wanting to delve deep into my parenting style, I will say this.  Since Ava was a baby I have erred on the side of crying-it-out, for many reasons, and have stuck to that ideology because even for a toddler I believe that action and consistency speak volumes.  Now, in this case, with two-year-old emotions flaring and flexing, some compromises have had to be made.  But overall I've tried to keep with my instincts and not start Ava on a habit of crying for mommy many times a night or nap.

With that in mind, after a few conversations that went nowhere, trying to explain to Ava why it is better for her to sleep by herself or why she needs to go back to sleep without me, the Holy Spirit nudged me with a great realization.  This is a perfect opportunity to talk about her relationship with Jesus--not just the story of baby Jesus but the role that he plays in our lives.

The first night I decided to go into her room and I sang her a new song:

...I've got the love of Jesus love of Jesus
Down in my heart
Down in my heart to stay
...And I'm so happy, so very happy
I've got the love of Jesus in my heart!

I explained that Jesus lived in her heart, and in my heart, and that whenever she felt lonely or sad or afraid, she could tell Jesus and he would hear her.  I told her that sometimes she might miss mommy and daddy when we're not there but that Jesus will always be with her.  Watching her eyes light up, she responded, "Yeah!  That's a good idea mommy!  Baby Jesus lives right here in my heart!"  I melted.  She was smitten.

Since then we've had some more rocky sleep and awake times, but they have been great opportunities for me to introduce her more and more to Jesus.  What a sweet job that is.  With the onset of some pretty ugly, defiant behavior we've been able to talk about how God tells us to obey our parents and how it makes God feel when she disobeys.

A few nights ago, Blair and I were both awake as Ava cried and cried for me from about 1-4:30am.  I went in a number of times but short of sticking her back in the womb there was no giving her enough comfort to calm her.  At one point I reminded her that though mommy had to go back to her room, Jesus would be with her and she could pray to him if she was sad.  I left and within minutes she was crying for me to return.  Blair and I listened for awhile, Ava finally calmed down a little and then we heard her yell loudly and happily, "Mommy!  I told Jesus I'm sad!"  We giggled in bed.  I can't tell you what work and yet what a joy this time is!