I was that mom.

You know, that one with the kicking, screaming, shoe-throwing toddler you pass judgement on in the store?  That was me.

For all those who know my daughter and don't believe me that she has her "moments", believe this!  We were in our local kids consignment shop the other day and something about it made Ava think it was a free-for-all, take-what-you-want, try-on-all-the-shoes-you-can-find kind of store, and one where screaming and throwing a tantrum was an acceptable response to mommy's "no's".  I left utterly embarrassed, literally carried her out kicking and we then proceeded to sit in the car for fifteen minutes until she calmed down enough to get in her car seat.

I consider myself on the strict side of the parenting spectrum and think words like consistency and follow-through are the cornerstones to discipline.  But, if parenting perfection was my ultimate goal, I would never survive a day and would be riddled with defeat.  No amount of sound parenting can make you totally immune to a child's outburst of defiance!  But, though not apparently immune and not shielded from the glaring eyes of other shoppers, I do think God uses those displays as a great reminder for me.  I can never be 100% in control of what Ava does or what choices she makes, but I can do my best with what God has given me--to teach in the quiet moments, to discipline and correct in the louder ones, and to, in the messiest of moments, show by example what it looks like to live by grace, obedience and love.  If those are my ultimate goals, then I should welcome the tantrums as much as I welcome the sweet times, acknowledging them all as chances to grow in Christlikeness both within myself and to cultivate it in my daughter.

Now, do I act according to this perspective all the time?  Definitely not.  I am still the mom who threw her kid in the backseat and thought, who exactly is in control here?  What does it even look like to show Christ to this?  But, I'm so thankful for a God who challenges me, bears those burdens with me and teaches by example, dealing with my intense stubbornness with unmatchable gentleness, grace and patience.