Homebody, Home Maker

A phenomena of the modern stay-at-home-mom, blogging is a prominent part of many of our days. Sharing our thoughts and families, as well as reading others stories, both of people we know and those we don't. It might seem strange to some, to "follow" the blog of a mom whom you've never met, but to me and many it is fun, comforting, and a great resource.

Lately as I've been thinking of the many moms I know or read about who seem to constantly be taking their children out on adventures and excursions, I've become aware of my tendency to feel inadequate. Not as a nurturing mother but as a provider of experience, education and excitement into my baby's life. Blair and I have only one car, and his job keeps him out of the house (and the car goes with him) during many of Ava's waking hours. Therefore, her times 'out', especially to do anything exceptionally interesting, are few. I read about other families going pumpkin picking (Ava and I did manage this one with friends but without Blair), to the zoo or the farmers market or to friends houses or wherever, and I find myself wondering if Ava is missing out. Or am I missing out?

In the last couple of days though, I have realized two things. One, though experience outside the home is very important, it is not everything. And two, I have much to be thankful for in the way God has made me suitable for this "line of work". I have had my share of bad days and bad weeks, when Ava nor I have gotten out of the house for four days straight and I haven't had a break in months. But, I've realized recently that God's also given me an incredible ability to be able to live in and enjoy these circumstances more than the average mom. I have always thought it a lesser quality that I am a homebody and don't mind being at home. I have many friends who really need and want to get out of the house every day and thankfully have the ability to do so. But, I am beginning to see that my contentment to be at home as much as I am has become a necessary quality for the sustainability of our family, and I am so thankful at this stage in our lives that God made me the way he did. If he had made me any different, I assure you there would have been many more breakdowns in our household than have actually taken place, and probably it would not allow Blair to do the work that he loves.

Someday I hope that I have the option to take Ava out of the house everyday, not just for a walk but to places exciting and stimulating and new. But for now, I have to acknowledge that she is still growing, learning, socializing and doing amazingly well finding new things to do around the house every day. I have to remember that I am a good mom, that it is ok and even an asset that I enjoy being at home, and that I am blessed to be able to stay home with my daughter at all. I have to believe that all those moms out in blog land that post pictures of their seemingly perfect, exciting and adventure-filled lives have no more perfect homes, children or marriages than I do. I have to remember that memories are memories, and especially at Ava's young age, she is building just as firm a foundation playing, cooking and exploring with me at home as she would anywhere else.

I can't say I'm not praying for change, but I'm learning to be grateful that I have the capacity to stay within these walls for such long stretches as I do and to allow my husband to work at what he loves. I am beyond blessed to get to spend my days with a sweet and content girl who also loves snuggling and staying in. Though our circumstances are not ideal, we were built for them as much as anybody could be, and I'm glad.